Top Ten Horror/Halloween Films: #7 The House On Haunted Hill

This film proves that some classics should be left alone. This version of the film stars Vincent Price and is just about as creepy as they come. A millionaire has a party with a twist as he invites a group of people over, tempting them with a reward if they can stay the entire night and survive. While there things start happening and the characters are questioning their decisions and desperately are seeking a way out.

This one is definitely worth a view over its remake. Vincent Price proves why he was a legend and why his movies have lasted to this day.

Top Ten Horror/Halloween Films: #8 Donny Darko

There is really no way to explain this film that won’t confuse you more than the movie will. This cult classic belongs in a class of its own. With Halloween approaching, Donny narrowly escapes death when part of a plane crashes into his house. He suffers from depression and what appears to be schizophrenia. The plot gets weirder and weirder as Donny starts talking to a rabbit named Frank and theorizes about the end of the world.

This one isn’t scary but it will take your brain to places it has never been before. The Director’s Cut helps a lot because this brainteaser will surely confuse you.

Special Thanks

I would like to thank Seth Tenenbaum and Kari Washak, they have been helping me out with some editing. I promise the review will get better with practice and I have been working on my syntax to make my reviews more entertaining and aesthetically pleasing for all you. With that said these two individuals have given me a great deal of help.

Saw V

Do you want to play a game? In this case, no I really don’t. In the fifth installment of the Saw series, the Jigsaw Killer is finally dead, but his legacy of brutality continues due to the work of a protégé. Like its predecessors, Saw V is unforgiving in its exploitation of torture as a means of pushing a sub par plot. The good news is that if you are a fan of the series you should expect much of the same and you likely won’t be disappointed; the bad news is that this is the fifth installment of a case study on the most appalling way to execute a human being. Oh and by the way, there is no sign of it stopping anytime soon.

 

I have always found the idea behind these films to be interesting, worth pursuing, and, dare I say, noble. The sentiment that people have lost their respect for life and that many would give anything to get a few more days on this earth is a very righteous moral argument to make. However, the Saw series has always fallen short of presenting this argument effectively and Saw V is no exception. This film is even more disappointing because the argument is starting to shift from respecting life, to simply torturing those who have been unjust. The moral and noble argument has been eliminated in favor of rogue justice.

 

Whatever happened to the Hitchcock method of filmmaking? The first time I saw Psycho I didn’t sleep for a week; the first time I saw Saw I reached for the vomit bag. The difference: Saw relies on distasteful torment of its main characters to move an average plot, weak dialogue, and below average acting; while Psycho shows limited on screen violence and the thrills come from suspense-building, masterful direction, and superb acting. There is no need for intense, graphic violence if you are a skillful writer and filmmaker – the thrill will come from the suspense, crafty camera work, and mis en scene. The only thing that scares me about Saw is that there are five such bloodbaths thus far and the ending leaves it wide open for number six.

 

There is little to like about this fifth installment. The plot of the series appears to be going in a circular fashion and trying to find new ways to continue pumping out atrocious excuses for horror films that care little about substance and sell solely on shock factor. Like the disease that killed the Jigsaw Killer, the Saw series has become a cancer to the movie industry.  Similar to the character in earlier films you can go ahead and put this one on life support because the shock factor is starting to wear off and the dreadful production and lack of believability won’t carry this series much further. Overall I give it 1 and ½ “R’s” out of 5.

Max Payne

With his wife and child dead and his job stagnant, Max Payne (Mark Wahlberg) gives up everything he has left to go after and take down the ruthless killers. Payne a renegade detective, who has been relegated to filing duties, infiltrates the criminal underground in attempts of finding those who wrecked his life. While seeking out information, Payne is linked to a pair of heinous murders; his goal becomes not only solving his wife’s death but also clearing his name.

 

This video game adaptation is somewhat difficult to understand at first. The plot moves along slowly, with a lot of things happening and little to no explanation for them. Without going into any spoilers, I promise the end does tie everything together fairly well. Payne has a lot of depth as a character. It is a shame that they didn’t delve deeper into his life in this one because he is very worthwhile individual. Luckily for us after the end credits role it is hinted that a sequel is in the near future.

 

I have never played the game but I felt that Wahlberg did a more than able job filling the role. It was also very interesting to see Mila Kunis in something other than a comedic role. I think the film has the same feel of comic book films such as Sin City and definitely plays off the themes found in early film noir. Giving both the characters an interesting environment to work in and watch them from.

 

This film is by no means special and probably is not even worth seeing in theaters however I think with a sequel just around the bend, the series has a lot of potential. So for this movie my rating isn’t great but I don’t think you should dismiss it because the best is yet to come. Overall I give it 2 and ½ “R’s” out of 5.

W.

Oliver Stone strikes again… and when it comes to Stone that usually isn’t a good thing. Sure he has had his moments, Academy Awards for Platoon and Born on the Fourth of July, but what Stone is commonly known for in the film community is for being a conspiracy theorist and a butcher. If you are fan of Oliver Stone you won’t be disappointed with his effort in W., but you should be prepared to see the side that he is criticized for not the award winner.

 

W. evolves as a story not about a failed presidency but a failed relationship with a father and an attempt to make a mends. Stone portrays George W. Bush as a screw up who has been able to do nothing to make his father proud. Bush is shown in his early years partying heavily and constantly butting heads with his father, a proud American servant. We move forward to the Bush presidency where he has hired all of his father’s friends and allies, become a born again Christian, married Laura, and about to enter a war. Stone shows Bush as a man who got in slightly over his head and almost not smart enough to keep up with his advisors who seemingly can talk him into anything.

 

Most of the information in the film is accurate. The facts in this film are largely based on what really happened however the question enters, who said what. The film allows for Colin Powell and Condaleeza Rice to appear sympathetic characters dragged downed by their associates while Dick Cheney and Karl Rove appear as diabolical madmen. Bush at times appears to be a very strong willed person who knows exactly what he wants and will do everything to achieve it, and at other times appears as a bumbling idiot. As a person with a strong interest in politics, I have come to know the facts behind many of these meetings and decisions, but to attempt to characterize statements and thoughts to certain individuals is almost impossible and irresponsible.

 

Other than the believability coming into question, Stone’s biggest failure is his attempt to insert all of the “Bushisms” throughout the presidency. It appears that Stone took every gaffe and mistake the President made and attempted to establish a story around fitting those things in. This causes the dialogue to appear forced and nonsensical. I think all this movie does is prove that you should allow a Presidency to end, give it some time to set in, and find out all the facts before you attempt to make a serious film about it. The only plus in this one is a strong performance from Josh Brolin, who looking very little like Bush does a good job of embodying the boy, the man, and the President. In my opinion you can “misunderestimate” this film all you want, and overall all I feel it was worth 2 “R’s” out of 5.

Quarantine

Angela Vidal (Jennifer Carpenter) is a reporter for a fictitious reality show following the real lives of Los Angeles Firefighters. While filming the firefighters on what appeared to be a routine medical call in an old apartment building, Vidal, her cameraman, the firefighters, and the residents of the building are detained with no explanation by the military. Panic starts to set in and some of the residents start acting abnormally. The building is put on lockdown and all forms of communication in and out are cut off. When the power gets shut off zombie like residents have a feeding frenzy on the scared and paranoid apartment dwellers.

 

Quarantine is a very interesting twist on the Zombie genre. Without going into details the cause of the zombie like residents and the quarantining of the building is something that was very unexpected and unique (though the film itself is a remake). The film itself many horror buffs will say isn’t scary; this is true to a certain extent. There are a few spots in the film that are guaranteed to make you jump but for the most part there are not the scares that have become mainstays in slasher and mainstream horror films. Instead the fear is something that we are afraid of everyday in real life but because we have become so desensitized to on-screen violence the fear doesn’t translate well in a world of Saw and Hostel.

 

What could be scarier than the military, the police, and federal agencies, forcefully detaining you from leaving a building with no explanation? This is a real fear that we don’t think about because it is something that we believe would never happen. In this situation however it would be incredibly scary to be trapped, petrified, and have your own government working against you. On top of all this the small frame that we are able to see from the hand-held camera confronts a common fear of claustrophobia. This is literally a claustrophobic world that these people are confined and their fear is exacerbated by the horrors that are inside their barricaded environment.

 

Generally I disagree with the directorial decision to use the hand-held camera view. It generally is not as aesthetically pleasing and is difficult for the audience to become invested in. For some reason or another this style has become prevalent over the last decade especially in the horror genre and in many cases it isn’t done very well, however in this film I think it works. It provides like earlier stated, a claustrophobic feeling, and I think the reality show approach makes it believable enough that these people would care about filming something when their life is at stake. I think overall the film is scary the way that Night of the Living Dead was scary. Many socio-political issues are presented and used to provide a “what if” scenario which I found to be very scary and believable. Overall I give this film 3 and ½ “R’s” out of 5.

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Zack (Seth Rogen) and Miri (Elizabeth Banks) have been best friends since first grade. As adults they are roommates and unfortunately for them dead broke. After attending their high school reunion Zack and Miri return home to an apartment with no heat, no water, and no electricity. Realizing that they have not accomplished anything since high school and that they are living like a homeless person would, Zack decides that it would be advantageous to follow cues from a former classmate and enter the adult movie industry.

 

After some much needed convincing, Miri reluctantly agrees to join Zack and problems and pitfalls become prevalent. Zack gets hard at work interviewing strippers, raising capital, and finding a makeshift studio; while Miri attempts to convince herself that making such a film with a life long friend means nothing more than a way to make a quick buck. Over the course of the film it becomes very apparent that the two have romantic feelings towards each other and that going through with this film could complicate an already difficult situation.

 

It is easy to compare the trials and tribulations that Zack and Miri have with their feelings for each other to those that they go through while attempting to make the film.  However in this case it is wishful thinking to assume such a deep, well thought out metaphor was implemented. The movie appears to have been written like a porno, rather than being something of great philosophical worth.  The acting is sub-par, the jokes are raunchy and only funny because they are so bad, and the plot line moves ahead without the slightest bit of believability.

 

Rogen (Knocked-Up) proves yet again that he makes a goofy best friend at best. His performance allows a couple of smirks, but will mostly leave you wondering where you have seen him play that character before: The answer, his entire body of work. Banks (Invincible) is passable but the role is written as if she is a schizophrenic and leaves little room for which she could excel. Her character goes from a giddy airhead who hopes to reconnect with an old crush, to a supportive friend willing to do anything to save her friendship and apartment, to jealous, nasty and cold hearted, to a full blown romantic, to an adult film star. The concoction her disjointed character and his less than stellar acting, does not really allow you to believe in either of them or make any significant connection to their character.

 

What disappoints most is the work of director Kevin Smith (Clerks). The thought of Seth Rogen playing in Smith’s world was both tempting and appealing. In the end however we get Smith playing in Rogen’s world, reminiscent of the Judd Apatow productions that made Rogen a household name. If you are a fan of The 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Pineapple Express, and the like you probably won’t be disappointed. Die hard Kevin Smith fans will enjoy picking up little nuances prevalent in all of Smith’s works, but for everyone else you are more likely to leave bored and or disturbed than pleased. Overall I give it a 2 and ½ “R’s” out of 5.

Coming Soon: Quarantine, W., Max Payne

I have recently seen Quarantine and W. and intend on seeing Max Payne within the next couple of days. Expect reviews for all of them soon.

Top 10 Horror/Halloween Films: #9 Shaun of the Dead

Shaun of the Dead isn’t exactly a horror movie or a Halloween movie for that matter but it is probably the best horror movie spoof ever made. Shaun and his best buddy Ed are slackers. They live in an apartment that is paid for mostly by a guy who doesn’t like them and who they don’t like. They are lazy and have little to no motivation. This lack of ambition costs them jobs and relationships. Unbeknownst to them the dead have risen and are attacking the city. Upon realization that the end of the world could be upon them Shaun and Ed embark on a journey to find Shaun’s ex-girlfriend, win her back, protect her from the zombies, find safety, save the world, and prove that they aren’t useless.

This film is extremely funny and well written. It contains many of the aspects we have come to know from zombie and horror films from the past while putting a new twist on them. Simon Pegg shines in both acting and writing this one and it is worth checking out especially if you aren’t a fan of the horror genre because it won’t scare you but will be sure to make you laugh.